It happens immediately. The moment I wake up and my feet hit the floor, I am consumed with my never-ending to-do list. I hear the 5 kids getting ready for school and I go into drill sergeant mode. I convince myself that if I am not there in the kitchen barking orders and reminding everyone of when we need to leave and what they need to do, that it will be impossible to get out the door in time. Instead of savoring my mornings with my family, I am rushing the moment. Instead of enjoying their laughter and goofiness, I am getting onto them for not eating quickly enough, not staying focused, not obeying. I mean well. I care about them having enough time to eat breakfast before the school day starts. It is important to me that they are prepared for the day. I nag because I care. That is what I tell myself. That 40 minutes goes by in what feels like a hurried second, and then they are gone, off to school. I won’t see them for another 7 hours. You hear so many people tell you to cherish the moments, time goes fast and you never know when it’s the last moment you will have with those that you love. If something were to happen to any of us in those 7 hours after that rushed morning, I know I would have numerous regrets. I would wish for that time back to laugh with them and intently listen to their goofy stories at the kitchen table. I would wish that I had sat with my daughters and gently brushed their hair instead of reprimanding them for taking too long to get ready. I would long for the lovely that I missed.
I spend so much time and effort demanding perfection from all of my family members, including myself. In fact I demand it from myself the most. I nag when rules are broken. I complain when messes are left behind. And while, yes, children do need correction, I know that I focus on the imperfect much more than I should. When all I see are the imperfections, I miss the most important things of all. I miss the lovely things. I miss the fleeting moments of beauty right there in front of me.
I no longer want to miss the lovely. That is why I am setting an intention to focus on only the lovely each day. It doesn’t end there. I must also point out the lovely, especially to the ones who need to know just how lovely they are.
I will tune out the imperfections and focus on the lovely moments perfectly.